Although,onceagain,intheU.S.publicpoliciesarefractiousandcontradictory,lesbianandgayparentsaremorevisibleandorganizedtherethanelsewhere.EstimatesplacethenumberoflesbianandgayparentsintheU.S.betweentwotoeightmillion,andthe2000Censusrecordedthatthehouseholdsof34percentoffemalesame-sexcouplesand22percentofmalesame-sexcouplesincludeddependentchildren.Lesbianandgayparentsandtheirchildrenparticipateinnumeroussupportgroups,organizations,specialcampsandvacations,andsympatheticimagesandstoriesaboutthemappearfrequentlyinthepopularmedia.Gayparentshavealsomadegreatstridesinsecuringlegalrightsinmanystates,althoughasignificantbacklashisworkingtooverturnthesewhereitcan.Onestate(Florida)bansgayandlesbianadoptionexplicitly,severalothersdosoindirectly,andopponentsofgayparenthoodhaveintroducedproposalsforsuchbansinseveralotherstates.However,amajorityofthefiftystatesallowsingle-parentadoptionsirrespectiveofsexualorientation,six(includingthemostpopulous)expresslyallowsame-sexcouplestoadoptchildrenjointly,andmanyoftherestgrantsuchadoptionslocally.Perhapsunsurprisingly,theU.S.representsthevanguardingayaccesstocommercialARTservicesincludingspermbanks,eggdonors,andpaidsurrogates.LesbianshelpedtoorganizeandoperateseveralspermbanksintheU.S.,andLosAngelesishometoGrowingGenerations,theworld’sfirstsurrogacyagencyfoundedprimarilybyandforgaymen,whichservesaglobalclienteleofaffluentgaymenwhodesirebiologicaloffspring.
ParadoxesandPotentialofLesbianandGayFamilyGoals
Lookingbackwardoverthesedazzlinginternationalshiftsinsexualityandfamilyforms,lesbianandgaycampaignsformarriageandparentingrightscanseemasparadoxicalastheywereunpredictable.First,gaysandlesbiansbegantostrivefortherighttomarryattheveryhistoricalmomentwhenheterosexualmarriageevincedmanysymptomsofinstitutionaldecline.Heterosexualcouplesinmostadvancedindustrialsocietiesnowcohabitoutsidemarriagemorefrequently,marrylater,ifatall,divorcemoreoften,andspendagreaterportionoftheiradultlivesunmarriedthantheydidunderthemodernfamilyregime.Whereoncefreechoicemarriagemeantbeingfreetochoosewhoyouwouldmarry,nowitmeansbeingobligedtochooseif,when,how,forhowlong,andhowmanytimestomarryaswell.