廣場恐懼症曾奪去了我的生活
花季故事
作者：by Scott Woolley
學習小提示：
Phobia（恐懼症）是一種精神官能症，特征為發病者對某些事物或情境產生莫名的恐懼。縱使當事者明知不會受到傷害，也無法控製恐懼的情緒。如：
The man had a phobia about flying.（這個男人有飛行恐懼症。）
另外，-phobia是後綴，構成名詞，表示某種恐懼症，這些恐懼症五花八門，如ablutophobia（洗澡恐懼症）、claustrophobia（幽閉恐懼症）、cyberphobia（電腦技術恐懼症）、frigophobia（寒冷恐懼症）等。本文作者提到的agoraphobia 就是由agora（廣場，市場）和phobia組成的。
I’ve lost count of how many mornings I lay awake， unwilling to move a muscle and unable to crawl out from beneath the sheets. Most days the fear and panic was just too much to take. If I didn’t have work， then I didn’t wash， or bother to get dressed. I would just lie in bed， wishing I hadn’t woken up.
How It All Began
I wasn’t always like this. I used to be happy to go anywhere， anytime， but when I was 14 my friends and I 1）got jumped by a 2）gang of 3）lads. That changed everything.
Entirely 4）unprovoked， they started shouting 5）abuse at us then ran over and beat us up. I was repeatedly 6）punched in the face and chest， I was lucky I wasn’t seriously injured. But while the physical 7）bruises from the beating healed quickly， the 8）psychological effect of the attack didn’t. I became much less willing to leave the house， especially at night. I was well aware I had begun to 9）withdraw， but after what happened it felt like it was in my best interest.
From time to time I was able to 10）fend these feelings off， but the fear never really left me. As soon as I made some progress it would come back with a 11）vengeance. Trying to leave the house was like fighting a losing battle. It was exhausting. By the time I was 22， I had 12）slipped further and further into 13）depression. I would only leave the house when I had to and， when I did， I would have 14）consistent panic attacks. It was unbearable. I stopped seeing my friends as I couldn’t even make it across the street to the local shop. After months of suffering， I decided it was time to seek help.
Seeking Help
My 15）GP 16）diagnosed depression and agoraphobia and offered me a choice of 17）counselling 18）sessions over the phone or face-to-face. I went for the phone option but it didn’t work out. The counsellors were fantastic， yet I found it difficult to follow their suggestions because of how I was feeling. It was partly due to the fear， but also I think because it was easier to 19）brush off advice made over the phone and take the easier path.