and off with him and out trying to walk straight. boosed at five o'clock. night he was near being lagged only paddy leonard knew the bobby, 14 a. blind to the world up in a shebeen in bride street after closing time, fornicating with two shawls and a bully on guard, drinking porter out of teacups. and calling himself a frenchy for the shawls, joseph manuo, and talking against the catholic religion and he serving mass in adam and eve's when he was young with his eyes shut who wrote the new testament and the old testament and hugging and snugging. and the two shawls killed with the laughing, picking his pockets the bloody fool and he spilling the porter all over the bed and the two shawls screeching laughing at one another. how is your testament? have you got an old testament? only paddy was passing there, i tell you what. then see him of a sunday with his little concubine of a wife, and she wagging her tail up the aisle of the chapel, with her patent boots on her, no less, and her violets, nice as pie, doing the little lady. jack mooney's sister. and the old prostitute of a mother procuring rooms to street couples. gob, jack made him toe the line. told him if he didn't patch up the pot, jesus, he'd kick the shite out of him.
so terry brought the three pints.
-- here, says joe, doing the honours. here, citizen.
-- slan leat, says he.
-- fortune, joe, says i. good health, citizen.
gob, he had his mouth half way down the tumbler already. want a small fortune to keep him in drinks.
-- who is the long fellow running for the mayoralty, alf? says joe.
-- friend of yours, says alf.
-- nannan? says joe. the mimber?
-- i won't mention any names, says alf.
-- i thought so, says joe. i saw him up at that meeting now with william field, m. p., the cattle traders. -- hairy iopas, says the citizen, that exploded volcano, the darling of all countries and the idol of his own.
so joe starts telling the citizen about the foot and mouth disease and the cattle traders and taking action in the matter and the citizen sending them all to the rightabout and bloom coming out with his sheepdip for the scab and a hoose drench for coughing calves and the guaranteed remedy for timber tongue. because he was up one time in a knacker's yard. walking about with his book and pencil here's my head and my heels are coming till joe cuffe gave him the order of the boot for giving lip to a grazier. mister knowall. teach your grandmother how to milk ducks. pisser burke was telling me in the hotel the wife used to be in rivers of tears sometimes with mrs o'dowd crying her eyes out with her eight inches of fat all over her. couldn't loosen her farting strings but old cod's eye was waltzing around her ing her how to do it. what's your programme today? ay. humane methods. because the poor animals suffer and experts say and the best known remedy that doesn't cause pain to the animal and on the sore spot administer gently. gob, he'd have a soft hand under a hen.