bloom (shaking hands with a blind stripling.) my more than brother! (placing his arms round the shoulders of an old couple.) dear old friends! (he plays pussy fourcorners with ragged boys and girls.) peep! bopeep! (he wheels twins in a perambulator.) ticktacktwo wouldyousetashoe? (he performs juggler's tricks, draws red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet silk handkerchiefs from his mouth.) roygbiv. 32 feet per second. (he consoles a widow.) absence makes the heart grow younger. (he dances the highland fling with grotesque antics.) leg it, ye devils! (he kisses the bedsores of a palsied veteran.) honourable wounds! (he trips up a fat policeman.) u.p.: up. u.p.: up. (he whispers in the ear of a blushing waitress and laughs kindly.) ah, naughty, naughty! (he eats a raw turnip offered him by maurice butterly, farmer.) fine! splendid! (he refuses to accept three shillings offered him by joseph hynes, journalist.) my dear fellow, not at all! (he gives his coat to a beggar.) please accept. (he takes part in a stomach race with elderly male and female cripples.) come on, boys! wriggle it, girls!
the citizen (choked with emotion, brushes aside a tear in his emerald muffler.) may the good god bless him!
(the rams' horns sound for silence. the standard of zion is hoisted.)bloom (uncloaks impressively, revealing obesity, unrolls a paper and reads solemnly.) aleph beth ghimel daleth hagadah tephilim kosher yom kippur hanukah ros chaschana beni brith bar mitzvah mazzoth askenazim meshuggah talith.
(an official translation is read by jimmy henry, assistant town clerk.)jimmy henry the court of conscience is now open. his most catholic majesty will now administer open air justice. free medical and legal advice, solution of doubles and other problems. all cordially invited. given at this our loyal city of dublin in the year i of the paradisiacal era.
paddy leonard what am i to do about my rates and taxes?