I'll tell you the story some day. It was perfectly choking.
Whenever I tried to slip out of it I saw the President somewhere, smiling out of the bow-window of a club, or taking off his hat to me from the top of an omnibus. I tell you, you can say what you like, that fellow sold himself to the devil; he can be in six places at once.""So you sent the Marquis off, I understand," asked the Professor.
"Was it long ago? Shall we be in time to catch him?""Yes," answered the new guide, "I've timed it all. He'll still be at Calais when we arrive.""But when we do catch him at Calais," said the Professor, "what are we going to do?"At this question the countenance of Dr. Bull fell for the first time. He reflected a little, and then said--"Theoretically, I suppose, we ought to call the police.""Not I," said Syme. "Theoretically I ought to drown myself first. Ipromised a poor fellow, who was a real modern pessimist, on my word of honour not to tell the police. I'm no hand at casuistry, but Ican't break my word to a modern pessimist. It's like breaking one's word to a child.""I'm in the same boat," said the Professor. "I tried to tell the police and I couldn't, because of some silly oath I took. You see, when I was an actor I was a sort of all-round beast. Perjury or treason is the only crime I haven't committed. If I did that Ishouldn't know the difference between right and wrong.""I've been through all that," said Dr. Bull, "and I've made up my mind. I gave my promise to the Secretary--you know him, man who smiles upside down. My friends, that man is the most utterly unhappy man that was ever human. It may be his digestion, or his conscience, or his nerves, or his philosophy of the universe, but he's damned, he's in hell! Well, I can't turn on a man like that, and hunt him down. It's like whipping a leper. I may be mad, but that's how I feel; and there's jolly well the end of it.""I don't think you're mad," said Syme. "I knew you would decide like that when first you--""Eh?" said Dr. Bull.