"Let me describe my position to you in a few words.Having found in the solemn headmaster of the College Saint-Louis a tutor to whom my uncle delegated his authority,at the age of eighteen I had gone through all the classes;I left school as innocent as a seminarist,full of faith,on quitting Saint-Sulpice.My mother,on her deathbed,had made my uncle promise that I should not become a priest,but I was as pious as though I had to take orders.On leaving college,the Abbe Loraux took me into his house and made me study law.During the four years of study requisite for passing all the examinations,I worked hard,but chiefly at things outside the arid fields of jurisprudence.
Weaned from literature as I had been at college,where I lived in the headmaster's house,I had a thirst to quench.As soon as I had read a few modern masterpieces,the works of all the preceding ages were greedily swallowed.I became crazy about the theatre,and for a long time I went every night to the play,though my uncle gave me only a hundred francs a month.This parsimony,to which the good old man was compelled by his regard for the poor,had the effect of keeping a young man's desires within reasonable limits.
"When I went to live with Comte Octave I was not indeed an innocent,but I thought of my rare escapades as crimes.My uncle was so truly angelic,and I was so much afraid of grieving him,that in all those four years I had never spent a night out.The good man would wait till I came in to go to bed.This maternal care had more power to keep me within bounds than the sermons and reproaches with which the life of a young man is diversified in a puritanical home.I was a stranger to the various circles which make up the world of Paris society;I only knew some women of the better sort,and none of the inferior class but those I saw as I walked about,or in the boxes at the play,and then only from the depths of the pit where I sat.If,at that period,any one had said to me,'You will see Canalis,or Camille Maupin,'Ishould have felt hot coals in my head and in my bowels.Famous people were to me as gods,who neither spoke,nor walked,nor ate like other mortals.