Life was a rolling psalm, and the choirs Of God were glad for our love.I fancied All this, and more than I dare to tell you To-night, -- yes, more than I dare to remember;And then -- well, the music stopped.There are moments In all men's lives when it stops, I fancy, --Or seems to stop, -- till it comes to cheer them Again with a larger sound.The curtain Of life just then is lifted a little To give to their sight new joys -- new sorrows --Or nothing at all, sometimes.I was watching The slow, sweet scenes of a golden picture, Flushed and alive with a long delusion That made the murmur of home, when I shuddered And felt like a knife that awful silence That comes when the music goes -- forever.
The truth came over my life like a darkness Over a forest where one man wanders, Worse than alone.For a time I staggered And stumbled on with a weak persistence After the phantom of hope that darted And dodged like a frightened thing before me, To quit me at last, and vanish.Nothing Was left me then but the curse of living And bearing through all my days the fever And thirst of a poisoned love.Were I stronger, Or weaker, perhaps my scorn had saved me, Given me strength to crush my sorrow With hate for her and the world that praised her --To have left her, then and there -- to have conquered That old false life with a new and a wiser, --Such things are easy in words.You listen, And frown, I suppose, that I never mention That beautiful word, FORGIVE! -- I forgave her First of all; and I praised kind Heaven That I was a brave, clean man to do it;And then I tried to forget.Forgiveness!