Far from London and Paris, and ill at one's ease, Away in the heart of the blue Pyrenees, Where a call from the doctor, a stroll to the bath, A ride through the hills on a hack like a lath, A cigar, a French novel, a tedious flirtation, Are all a man finds for his day's occupation, The whole case, believe me, is totally changed, And a letter may alter the plans we arranged Over-night, for the slaughter of time--a wild beast, Which, though classified yet by no naturalist, Abounds in these mountains, more hard to ensnare, And more mischievous, too, than the Lynx or the Bear.
III.
I marvel less, therefore, that, having already Torn open this note, with a hand most unsteady, Lord Alfred was startled.
The month is September;
Time, morning; the scene at Bigorre; (pray remember These facts, gentle reader, because I intend To fling all the unities by at the end.)
He walk'd to the window. The morning was chill:
The brown woods were crisp'd in the cold on the hill:
The sole thing abroad in the streets was the wind:
And the straws on the gust, like the thoughts in his mind, Rose, and eddied around and around, as tho' teasing Each other. The prospect, in truth, was unpleasing:
And Lord Alfred, whilst moodily gazing around it, To himself more than once (vex'd in soul) sigh'd . . . . . "Confound it!"
IV.
What the thoughts were which led to this bad interjection, Sir, or madam, I leave to your future detection;
For whatever they were, they were burst in upon, As the door was burst through, by my lord's Cousin John.
COUSIN JOHN.
A fool, Alfred, a fool, a most motley fool!
LORD ALFRED.
Who?
JOHN.
The man who has anything better to do;
And yet so far forgets himself, so far degrades His position as Man, to this worst of all trades, Which even a well-brought-up ape were above, To travel about with a woman in love,--
Unless she's in love with himself.
ALFRED.
Indeed! why Are you here then, dear Jack?
JOHN.
Can't you guess it?
ALFRED.
Not I.
JOHN.
Because I HAVE nothing that's better to do.
I had rather be bored, my dear Alfred, by you, On the whole (I must own), than be bored by myself.