'Well, to be sure!' cried the baker. 'But how d'ye mean, Mr.
Clip?'
'Mean! why, that it's got the HOTTERGRUFF of Pope.
"Steal not this book, for fear of hangman's rope;For it belongs to Alexander Pope."
All that's written on the inside of the binding of the book; so, as my son says, we're BOUND to believe it.'
'Well, sir,' observed the undertaker, deferentially, and in a half-whisper, leaning over the table, and knocking over the hairdresser's grog as he spoke, 'that argument's very easy upset.'
'Perhaps, sir,' said Clip, a little flurried, 'you'll pay for the first upset afore you thinks of another.'
'Now,' said the undertaker, bowing amicably to the hairdresser, 'ITHINK, I says I THINK - you'll excuse me, Mr. Clip, I THINK, you see, that won't go down with the present company - unfortunately, my master had the honour of making the coffin of that ere Lord's housemaid, not no more nor twenty year ago. Don't think I'm proud on it, gentlemen; others might be; but I hate rank of any sort.
I've no more respect for a Lord's footman than I have for any respectable tradesman in this room. I may say no more nor I have for Mr. Clip! (bowing). Therefore, that ere Lord must have been born long after Pope died. And it's a logical interference to defer, that they neither of them lived at the same time. So what Imean is this here, that Pope never had no book, never seed, felt, never smelt no book (triumphantly) as belonged to that ere Lord.
And, gentlemen, when I consider how patiently you have 'eared the ideas what I have expressed, I feel bound, as the best way to reward you for the kindness you have exhibited, to sit down without saying anything more - partickler as I perceive a worthier visitor nor myself is just entered. I am not in the habit of paying compliments, gentlemen; when I do, therefore, I hope I strikes with double force.'