第73章(1 / 3)

They did not care for him here, no one cared for him anywhere--only Maggie who was clear-eyed and truthful and sure beyond any human being whom he had ever known.Then, with a very youthful sense of challenging this world that had so grossly insulted him by admitting Thurston into the heart of it, he joined the tea-party.There in the pink, close, sugar-smelling, soft atmosphere sat his mother, Amy, Mrs.Alweed and little Miss Pyncheon.His mother, with her lace cap and white hair and soft plump hands, was pouring tea through a strainer as though it were a rite.On her plate were three little frilly papers that had held sugary cakes, on her lips were fragments of sugar.Amy, in an ugly grey dress, sat severely straight upon a hard chair and was apparently listening to Miss Pyncheon, but her eyes, suspicious and restless, moved like the eyes of a newly captured animal.Mrs.Alweed, stout in pink with a large hat full of roses, smiled and smiled, waiting only for a moment when she could amble off once again into space safe on the old broad back of her family experiences, the only conversational steed to whose care she ever entrusted herself.She had a son Hector, a husband, Mr.Alweed, and a sister-in-law, Miss Alweed; she had the greatest confidence in the absorbed attention of the slightest of her acquaintances.

"Hector, he's my boy, you know--although why I call him a boy Ican't think--because he's twenty-two and a half--he's at Cambridge, Christs College--well, this morning I had a letter..." she would begin.She began now upon Martin.His mind wandered.He looked about the little room and thought of Thurston.Why was he not more angry about it all? He had pretended to be indignant, he had hated Thurston as he stood there...But had he? Half of him hated him.

Then with a jerk Thurston's words came back to him: "There's two of each of us, that's the truth of it." "Two of each of us..."Sitting there, listening to Mrs.Alweed's voice that flowed like a river behind him, he saw the two figures, saw them quite clearly and distinctly, flesh and blood, even clothes and voices and smile.And he knew that all his life these two figures had been growing, waiting for the moment when he would recognise them.One figure was the Martin whom he knew--brown, healthy, strong and sane; a figure wearing his clothes, his own clothes, the tweeds and the cloths, the brogues and the heavy boots, the soft untidy hats; the figure was hard, definite, resolute, quarrelling, arguing, loving, joking, swearing all in the sensible way.It was a figure that all the world had understood, that had been drunk often enough, lent other men money, been hard-up and extravagant and thoughtless."A good chap.""A sensible fellow." "A pal." "No flies on Warlock." That was the kind of figure.And the life had been physical, had never asked questions, had never known morbidity, had lived on what it saw and could touch and could break...And the other figure! That was, physically, less plainly seen.No, there it was, standing a little away from the other, standing away, contemptuously, despising it, deriding it.Fat, soft, white hanging cheeks, wearing anything to cover its body, but shining in some way through the clothes, so that it was body that you saw.A soft body, hands soft and the colour of the flesh pale and unhealthy.But it was the eyes that spoke: the mouth trembled and was weak, the chin was fat and feeble, but the eyes lived, lived--were eager, fighting, beseeching, longing, captive eyes!