The close air of the grated tower Stifles a heart that scarce can beat, And, though so late and lone the hour, Forth pass her wandering, faltering feet;And on the pavement spread before The long front of the mansion grey, Her steps imprint the night-frost hoar, Which pale on grass and granite lay.
Not long she stayed where misty moon And shimmering stars could on her look, But through the garden archway soon Her strange and gloomy path she took.
Some firs, coeval with the tower, Their straight black boughs stretched o'er her head;Unseen, beneath this sable bower, Rustled her dress and rapid tread.
There was an alcove in that shade, Screening a rustic seat and stand;Weary she sat her down, and laid Her hot brow on her burning hand.
To solitude and to the night, Some words she now, in murmurs, said;And trickling through her fingers white, Some tears of misery she shed.
"God help me in my grievous need, God help me in my inward pain;Which cannot ask for pity's meed, Which has no licence to complain, "Which must be borne; yet who can bear, Hours long, days long, a constant weight--
The yoke of absolute despair, A suffering wholly desolate?
"Who can for ever crush the heart, Restrain its throbbing, curb its life?
Dissemble truth with ceaseless art, With outward calm mask inward strife?"
She waited--as for some reply;The still and cloudy night gave none;Ere long, with deep-drawn, trembling sigh, Her heavy plaint again begun.
"Unloved--I love; unwept--I weep;Grief I restrain--hope I repress:
Vain is this anguish--fixed and deep;Vainer, desires and dreams of bliss.
"My love awakes no love again, My tears collect, and fall unfelt;My sorrow touches none with pain, My humble hopes to nothing melt.
"For me the universe is dumb, Stone-deaf, and blank, and wholly blind;Life I must bound, existence sum In the strait limits of one mind;"That mind my own. Oh! narrow cell;Dark--imageless--a living tomb!
There must I sleep, there wake and dwell Content, with palsy, pain, and gloom."
Again she paused; a moan of pain, A stifled sob, alone was heard;Long silence followed--then again Her voice the stagnant midnight stirred.