That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words.
I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.
I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my cowardice should become known to you.
That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence.
Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.
O mad, superbly drunk;
If you kick open your doors and play the fool in public;
If you empty your bag in a night, and snap your fingers at prudence;
If you walk in curious paths and play with useless things;
Reck not rhyme or reason;
If unfurling your sails before the storm you snap the rudder in two,
Then I will follow you, comrade, and be drunken and go to the dogs.
I have wasted my days and nights in the company of steady wise neighbors.
Much knowing has turned my hair grey, and much watching has made my sight dim.
For years I have gathered and heaped up scraps and fragments of things:
Crush them and dance upon them, and scatter them all to the winds.
For I know this the height of wisdom to be drunken and go to the dogs.
Let all crooked scruples vanish, let me hopelessly lose my way.
Let a gust of wild giddiness come and sweep me away from my anchors.
The world is peopled with worthies, and workers, useful and clever.
There are men who are easily first, and men who come decently after.
Let them be happy and prosper, and let me be foolishly futile.
For I know this the end of all works to be drunken and go to the dogs.
I swear to surrender this moment all claims to the ranks of the decent.
I let go my pride of learning and judgment of right and of wrong.
I’ll shatter memory’s vessel, scattering the last the drop of tears.
With the foam of the berry-red wine I will bathe and brighten my laughter.
The badge of the civil and staid I’ll tear into shreds for the nonce.
I’ll take the holy vow to be worthless, to be drunken and go to the dogs.
No, my friends, I shall never be an ascetic, whatever you may say.
I shall never be an ascetic if she does not take the vow with me.
It is my firm resolve that if I cannot find a shady shelter and a companion for my penance, I shall never turn ascetic.