我又看了一下,這回看得認真了一些。刻的那顆心還在那,此外還依稀可以看見有支箭穿心而過。心一邊的字母已無法辨認了,但在另一邊,字母“R”清晰可見,後麵還有個像是“I”的字母。“初戀羅曼史?”我問道,“你知道他們是誰嗎?”
“唔,我知道。”瑪麗?史密斯說,“寫的是‘RH愛MS’。”
我意識到我可能涉入太深了,真希望自己身在辦公室,遠離這個地方和這個老年女士,手裏還端著杯茶,舒舒服服地。
她繼續講著……“他拿著一把袖珍折刀,折刀上嵌有長釘,那種長釘可以用來挖出夾在馬蹄上的石塊,我們一起刻了我名字的第一個字母。我們深深相愛,但他卻要離開了,而且不知道他將在軍隊裏幹什麼。當然我也曾猜想過。那是我們在一起的最後一個夜晚,因為他第二天就回部隊去了。
瑪麗?史密斯停了一會兒,接著抽泣起來。“他母親給我看了那封電報。‘R?荷爾姆斯軍士….在解放法國的戰役中犧牲。’
“我本來希望你和羅賓會結婚的。”她母親說,“我隻有他一個孩子,我本希望能做祖母,有非常可愛的小寶寶。”――她真是那麼說的!
“兩年後她也去世了。醫生說是‘肺炎,胸部著涼造成的’,但我認為這是典型的傷心過度。如果有個孩子那我們倆就都不會這樣了。”
瑪麗?史密斯又停了會兒沒說話。她輕柔地撫摸著那棵刻過的樹,就像她曾經撫摸他一樣。“現在他們想把我們的樹奪走。”她又輕輕地抽噎了一下,然後她轉過身來對著我。“當時我年輕漂亮,我愛嫁給誰都可以,我當時可不是現在這麼老的。我擁有生命裏所要的一切,一個值得愛的男人、健康的身體和充滿夢想的未來。”
她頓了頓,朝四周看了一眼。微風輕輕吹拂著樹葉,發出歎息般的沙沙聲。“當然,那時還有其他人,但他們連羅賓的一絲一毫都比不上!”她肯定地說。“現在我一無所有——隻剩下殘留在這棵樹上的記憶。那個可惡的家夥竟建議把路修在我們所站的這個地方,我真希望掐死他,我會對他說:你從沒愛過嗎,你活過嗎,你從不知道什麼叫記憶嗎?你知道,不僅僅是我們,現在我仍能看見些男男女女像當年的我和羅賓那樣到這兒來。是的,我一定要對他說!”
我轉過身去,心裏感到很難過。
The Best Kind of Love
最親密的愛
I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl.
"I"m young again!" she shouts exuberantly.
As my friend raves on about her new love, I"ve taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows the signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.
When my friend asked me "What will make this love last?" I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication. Yet there"s more. We still have fun. Spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled up newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.