Psychologists tell us that to be happy we need a blend of enjoyable leisure time and satisfying work. I doubt that my great-grandmother，who raised 14 children and took in washing，had much of either. She did have a network of close friends and family，and maybe this was what fulfilled her. If she was happy with what she had，perhaps it was because she didn’t expect life to be very different.
We，on the other hand，with so many choices and such pressure to succeed in every area，have turned happiness into one more thing we“gotta have.”We’re so self-conscious about our“right”to it that it’s making us miserable. So we chase it and equate it with wealth and success，without noticing that the people who have those things aren’t necessarily happier.
While happiness may be more complex for us，the solution is the same as ever. Happiness isn’t about what happens to us — it’s about how we perceive what happens to us. It’s the knack of finding a positive for every negative，and viewing a setback as a challenge. It’s not wishing for what we don’t have，but enjoying what we do possess.
我們對幸福的追求
佚 名
我們四處追逐幸福，而幸福其實就在我們身邊。
一天。我問哥哥伊恩：“你感到幸福嗎？”他回答說：“可以說幸福，也可以說不幸福，這要看你指什麼了。”
“那你告訴我，”我說，“最近一次你感到幸福是什麼時候？”
“1967年4月，”他答道。
我真不該對一個遊戲生活的人提出這麼嚴肅的問題。但伊恩的回答卻給了我一個啟示：我們想到的幸福時刻通常是一些非同尋常的事，一種純粹的快樂——但是隨著年齡的增長，這種快樂好像越來越少了。
對一個孩子來說，幸福有著夢幻般的色彩。記得我曾在新鮮的幹草叢中捉迷藏；在樹林裏玩“警察與小偷”；在學校的戲劇裏扮演有台詞的角色。當然，孩子也有情緒低落的時候。但是，因為贏得一場比賽，或得了一輛新單車，他們會毫不掩飾地快樂到極點。
到了青少年時期，幸福觀逐漸轉變。突然間，幸福就建立在激動、愛情、名氣甚至是臉上的青春痘能否在晚會前消失這樣的事上。我清楚地記得大家都去參加一個舞會，而我未被邀請時的痛苦。但也記得，在另一次活動中，我意外地與一個貌似約翰·特拉沃爾塔的人共舞時的興奮。
成年後，心靈深處最令人喜悅的是生育、愛情和婚姻。所有這些同時也帶來了責任和喪失。愛情可能會消逝。性愛也不總是如意，心愛的人可能會死去。對於成人來說，幸福很複雜。