Japanese Babies are not brought up in the fashion that a thoughtful Westerner might suppose。The arc of life in Japan is plotted in opposite fashion to that in the United States。It is a great shallow U-curve with maximum freedom and indulgence allowed to babies and to the old。Restrictions are slowly increased after babyhood till having one's own way reaches a low just before and after marriage。This low line continues many years during the prime of life，but the arc gradually ascends again until after the age of sixty men and women are almost as unhampered by shame as little children are。
Both the American and the Japanese arrangement of the arc of life，however，have in point of fact secured in each country the individual's energetic participation in his cul-ture during the prime of life。To secure this end in the United States，we rely on in-creasing his freedom of choice during this period。The Japanese rely on maximizing the restraints upon him。The fact that a man is at this time at the peak of his physical strength and at the peak of his earning powers does not make him master of his own life。They have great confidence that restraint is good mental training and produces results not attained by freedom。But the Japanese increase of restraints upon the man or woman during their most active producing periods by no means indicates that these restraints cover the whole of life。Childhood and old age are“free areas。”
A people so truly permissive to their children very likely want babies。The Japanese do。They want them，first of all，as parents do in the United States，because it is a pleasure to love a child。But they want them，too，for reasons which have much less weight in America。Japanese parents need children，not alone for emotional satisfaction，but because they have failed in life if they have not carried on the family line。Every Japanese man must have a son。He needs him to do daily homage to his memory after his death at the living-room shrine before the miniature gravestone。He needs him to perpetuate the family line down the generations and to preserve the family honor and possessions。For traditional social reasons the father needs his son almost as much as the young son needs his father。The son will take his father's place in the on going future and this is not felt as supplanting but as insuring the father。For a few years the father is trustee of the“house。”Later it will be his son。If the father could not pass trusteeship to his son，his own role would have been played in vain。This deep sense of continuity prevents the dependency of the fully grown son on his father，even when it is continued so much longer than it is in the United States，from having the aura of shame and humil-iation which it so generally has in Western nations。
A woman too wants children not only for her emotional satisfaction in them but be-cause it is only as a mother that she gains status。A childless wife has a most insecure position in the family，and even if she is not discarded she can never look forward to be-ing a mother-in-law and exercising authority over her son's marriage and over her son's wife。
Childbirth is as private in Japan as sexual intercourse and women may not cry out in labor because this would publicize it。A little pallet bed has been prepared for the ba-by with its own new mattress and bedcover。It would be a bad omen for the child not to have its own new bed，even if the family can do no more than have the quilt covers and this stuffing cleaned and renovated to make them“new。”The little bed quilt is not as stiff as grown-ups'covers and it is lighter。The baby is therefore said to be more comfort-able in its own bed，but the deeply felt reason for its separate bed is still felt to be based on a kind of sympathetic magic：a new human being must have its own new bed。The baby's pallet is drawn up close to the mother's，but the baby does not sleep with its mother until it is old enough to show initiative。When it is perhaps a year old，they say the baby stretches out its arms and makes its demand known。Then the baby sleeps in its mother's arms under her covers。
For three days after its birth the baby is not fed，for the Japanese wait until the true milk comes。After this the baby may have the breast at any time either for food or com-fort。The mother enjoys nursing too。The Japanese are convinced that nursing is one of a woman's greatest physiological pleasures and the baby easily learns to share her pleas-ure。The breast is not only nourishment：it is delight and comfort。For a month the baby lies on his little bed or is held in his mother's arms。It is only after the baby has been taken to the local shrine and presented there at the age of about thirty days that his life is thought to be firmly anchored in his body so that it is safe to carry him around freely in public。After he is a month old，he is carried on his mother's back。A double sash holds him under his arms and under his behind and is passed around the mother's shoul-ders and fled in front at the waist。In cold weather the mother's padded jacket is worn right over the baby。
The mother lays the baby on its bed whenever she is working and carries it with her wherever she goes on the streets。She talks to it。She hums to it。She puts it through the etiquette motions。If she returns a greeting herself，she moves the baby's head and shoulders forward so that it too makes salutation。The baby is always counted in。Every afternoon she takes it with her into the hot bath and plays with it as she holds it on her knees。
For three or four months the baby wears diapers，very heavy cloth pads upon which Japanese sometimes blame their bow-leggedness。The Japanese baby usually talks before it walks。Creeping has always been discouraged。Traditionally there was a feeling that the baby ought not to stand or take steps till it was a year old and the mother used to prevent any such attempts。The government in its cheap，widely circulated Mother's Magazine has for a decade or two taught that walking should be encouraged and this has become much more general。Mothers loop a sash under the baby's arms or support it with their hands。But babies still tend to talk even earlier。When they begin to use words the stream of baby talk with which adults like to amuse a baby becomes more pur-posive。They do not leave the baby's acquiring of language to chance imitation；they teach the baby words and grammar and respect language，and both the baby and the grown-ups enjoy the game。
Children are usually weaned after they can understand what is said to them。They have sat in their mother's lap at the family table during meals and been fed bits of the food；now they eat more of it。Some children are feeding problems at this time，and this is easy to understand when they are weaned because of the birth of a new baby。Mothers often offer them sweets to buy them off from begging to nurse。Sometimes a mother will put pepper on her nipples。But all mothers tease them by telling them they are proving that they are mere babies if they want to nurse。“Look at your little cousin。He's a man。He's little like you and he doesn't ask to nurse。”“That little boy is laughing at you be-cause you're a boy and you still want to nurse。”Two-，three-，and four-year-old chil-dren who are still demanding their mother's breast will often drop it and feign indiffer-ence when an older child is heard approaching。
Teasing takes another form too。The mother will turn to her husband and say to the child，“I like your father better than you。He is a nice man。”The child gives full ex-pression to his jealousy and tries to break in between his father and mother。His mother says，“Your father doesn't shout around the house and run around the rooms。”“No，no，”the child protests，“I won't either。I am good。Now do you love me？”When the play has gone on long enough，the father and mother look at one another and smile。They may tease a young daughter in this way as well as a young son。
Such experiences are rich soil for the fear of ridicule and of ostracism which is so marked in the Japanese grown-up。It is impossible to say how soon little children under-stand that they are being made game of by this teasing，but understand it they do sooner or later，and when they do，the sense of being laughed at fuses with the panic of the child threatened with loss of all that is safe and familiar。When he is a grown man，be-ing laughed at retains this childhood aura。
The panic such teasing occasions in the two to five-year-old child is the greater be-cause home is really a haven of safety and indulgence。Division of labor，both physical and emotional，is so complete between his father and mother that they are seldom pres-ented to him as competitors。For both girls and boys alike the mother is the source of constant and extreme gratifications，but in the case of a three-year-old boy he can gratify against her even his furious anger。He may never manifest any aggression toward his fa-ther，but all that he felt when he was teased by his parents and his resentments against being“given away”can be expressed in tantrums directed against his mother and his grandmother。Not all little boys，of course，have these tantrums，but in both villages and upper-class homes they are looked upon as an ordinary part of child life between three and six。The baby pommels his mother，screams，and，as his final violence，tears down her precious hair-do。His mother is a woman and even at three years old he is se-curely male。He can gratify even his aggressions。
To his father he may show only respect。His father is the great exemplar to the child of high hierarchal position，and，in the constantly used Japanese phrase，the child must learn to express the proper respect to him“for training。”He is less of a discipli-narian than in almost any Western nation。Discipline of the children is in the woman's hands。A simple silent stare or a short admonition is usually all the indication of his wi-shes he gives to his little children，and these are rare enough to be quickly complied with。He may make toys for his children in his free hours。He carries them about on oc-casion long after they can walk-as the mother does too-and for his children of this age he casually assumes nursery duties which an American father ordinarily leaves to his wife。
The older brothers and sisters are also taught to indulge the younger children。The Japanese are quite aware of the danger of what we call the baby's“nose being put out of joint”when the next baby is born。The dispossessed child can easily associate with the new baby the fact that he has had to give up his mother's breast and his mother's bed to the newcomer。Before the new baby is born the mother tells the child that now he will have a real live doll and not just a“pretend”baby。He is told that he can sleep now with his father instead of his mother，and this is pictured as a privilege。The children are drawn into preparations for the new baby。The children are usually genuinely excited and pleased by the new baby but lapses occur and are regarded as thoroughly expectable and not as particularly threatening。