辦公室裏長不大的“孩子”
職場無憂
作者：By Joshua Ogden-Davis/肝腦塗地
Alex： Hey， Tim， how was your weekend？
Tim： Hey， Alex！ Man， last weekend was totes amazeballs. On Saturday， I…hey， what’s that noise？
Alex： I don’t know！ It sounds like it’s coming from Ed’s desk.
Tim： It totes is. I think it’s his cell phone ringtone.
Alex： You’ve gotta be kidding me！ Why on earth would you choose that horrible sound for your ringtone？
Tim： ①Beats me. ②Anyway， to each their own. If Ed wants his phone to sound like a herd of dying cattle， then who am I to say anything？
Alex： You certainly do have a right to say something about it！
Tim： What’re you talking about？
Alex： What you do in your own time is up to you， but in the office， we have to maintain a professional atmosphere.
Tim： Did you seriously just say “maintain a professional atmosphere？” You sound just like the boss！
Alex： Well， that’s because the boss is right！ A professional atmosphere is important. That kind of ringtone disturbs everyone in the whole office.
Tim： ③Yeah， I can see how a sound like that could totes get me off track.
Alex： Tim， you’re never on track to begin with. Anyway， what if a client heard that ringtone？ ④No one is going to take him seriously if he doesn’t shape up his image.
Tim： Geez， that’s pretty harsh. Anyway， I’m totes glad I don’t have that kind of image problem. ⑤I totes just let it flow， you know. I’m all-natural， all-me， and I think the boss digs it.
Alex： ⑥Actually， I know for a fact that the boss doesn’t “dig it.”
Tim： What？ Why are you talking that crazy talk？
Alex： Yesterday， I heard her say that if you say “totes” one more time in a meeting， she’s “totes” going to show you the door.
Tim： Ouch！ ⑦That hits me right in the feels！
Alex： Don’t take it personally. As your friend， I really should tell you that you need to clean up your vocabulary. You talk like a 15 year-old kid.
Tim： You can’t hate on the 1）lingo！ I grew up talking like this， and I won’t change who I am just for some job. Besides， my lingo is totes adorbs， and everybody knows it.