Somehow I heard the knocking， the knocking on my front door， before I was ever really consciously aware of it. I was somehow expecting the visitor that showed up that 1)fateful day. Not only did I know he was coming， in all reality I think I had even， in a way， invited him.
As I reluctantly made my way to the front door， I could feel the familiar mental 2)tug-of-war begin. In my mind， no deeper， I knew what waited at the front door. As I approached the front door， the front door to my home， fear gripped me. I somehow knew that once I opened the door that things， things like my life， would never be the same. 3)Inwardly I knew that change was on the way. Inwardly I also knew that I had asked， even longed for this change. But I just couldn’t face it.
The rusty front door reluctantly swung open. It 4)squeaked and 5)screeched all the way for it hadn’t really been open in years if ever. The first thing I became aware of was his warm， gentle smile 6)accented nicely with a 7)knowing sparkle in his eyes. “Can I help you？” I mumbled. He let out a hearty genuine laugh at that one， “Can you help me？”
In between his laughing he managed to say “Sir， I am the 8)Contractor， I have done an 9)exhaustive survey of your house and I am afraid I have some good news and some bad news.”
I wondered silently if it was too late to shut the door and pretend I had never opened it. But I knew， knew deep down inside where all the serious， big decisions are made， that that would never happen. For I knew， really knew， that once you open this door， you can’t pretend you never opened it. You can’t shut it and walk away as if it had never existed. Once you have seen behind the magic curtain， so to speak， the show， this show， is never the same.