第七章如何鼓勵孩子自立(3 / 3)

B.假期孩子去登山了,回來後你對孩子很關心。

假設你用通常的方式,你會怎麼說?

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今天,用“不對孩子的事情表現出過分的關注”的方法,你會怎麼說?

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對比兩種方法的效果:

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C.父母將有一段時間不在家,想把孩子托付給爺爺或是叔叔。

假設你用通常的方式,你會怎麼說?

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今天,用“讓孩子自己作出判斷”的方法,你會怎麼說?

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對比兩種方法的效果:

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D.奶奶生病了,媽媽每天照顧奶奶的飲食起居,孩子對此表現出疑問。

假設你用通常的方式,你會怎麼說?

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今天,用“讓孩子自己尋求解決的方法”的方法,你會怎麼說?

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對比兩種方法的效果:

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E.孩子想參加學校組織的夏令營活動。

假設你用通常的方式,你會怎麼說?

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今天,用“讓孩子自己去嚐試和體驗”的方法,你會怎麼說?

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對比兩種方法的效果:

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F.孩子想學習滑旱冰,要求媽媽和他一塊兒練習。

假設你用通常的方式,你會怎麼說?

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今天,用“鼓勵孩子尋求家庭以外的援助”的方法,你會怎麼說?

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對比兩種方法的效果:

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現在你已經掌握了鼓勵孩子自立的基本方法,當然,你也許已經想到,這些並不是解決問題的唯一方法,也許還有更好的方法。

下麵的練習,是在生活中正在發生的一些情況,需要你用今天所學的方法來解決,當然你也可以用任何你認為更合適的方法。

練習二

A.孩子:我今天上學遲到了,你明天能早點做飯嗎?

家長:(讓孩子繼續依賴)

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家長:(鼓勵孩子自立)

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B.孩子:我討厭數學,語文也不喜歡。我不想再上學了。

家長:(讓孩子繼續依賴)

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家長:(鼓勵孩子自立)

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C.孩子:媽媽,今天下雨嗎?我用不用帶傘?

家長:(讓孩子繼續依賴)

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家長:(鼓勵孩子自立)

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D.孩子:我怎麼辦,為什麼老是學不會物理?

家長:(讓孩子繼續依賴)

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家長:(鼓勵孩子自立)

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E.孩子:媽媽,我想買一台電腦,可我的壓歲錢不夠了……

家長:(讓孩子繼續依賴)

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家長:(鼓勵孩子自立)

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F.孩子:貝貝讓我參加她的生日聚會,可是我不知道買什麼禮物。我該買什麼呀?

家長:(讓孩子繼續依賴)

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家長:(鼓勵孩子自立)

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隨著孩子的成長,他們從生理到心理都發生著疾風暴雨式的變化,身體的變化漸漸使他們意識到自己不再是個孩子,內心深處的成人意識開始覺醒了。他們用期盼的目光麵對即將來臨的成人世界,並越來越感到自己是“大人”了。角色轉換使他們重新認識自我,日益強烈地希望獨立、平等,不再安於原有地位,他們強烈要求從大人的約束中解脫出來。孩子獨立意識的產生,是一件好事,這是其生命曆程中必須經曆的一個過程。孩子們長大了,他們將告別幼稚,走向成熟,這不令父母感到欣慰嗎?

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