本期專題
作者：Amy Chua
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such 1)stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math 2)whizzes and music 3)prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
Attend a 4)sleepover
Have a 5)playdate
Be in a school play
Complain about not being in a school play
Watch TV or play computer games
Choose their own 6)extracurricular activities
Get any grade less than an A
Not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
Play any instrument other than the piano or violin
Not play the piano or violin
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to 7)override their preferences. Once a child starts to 8)excel at something—whether it's math, piano, 9)pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.
Here's a story 10)in favor of 11)coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about seven, still playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called The Little White Donkey. It's also incredibly difficult for young players because the two hands have to keep 12)schizophrenically different rhythms.
Lulu couldn't do it. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in 13)exasperation that she was giving up and 14)stomped off.
"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.
"You can't make me."
"Oh yes, I can."
Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She 15)punched, 16)thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music 17)score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and 18)encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I 19)hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army注 piece by piece if she didn't have The Little White Donkey perfect by the next day. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a 20)frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, 21)self-indulgent and 22)pathetic.